


Now and Always

by RobinPlaysTrumpet15



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padawan Anakin Skywalker, Platonic Cuddling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:28:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22261843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobinPlaysTrumpet15/pseuds/RobinPlaysTrumpet15
Summary: Obi-Wan is not prepared for a padawan.Anakin is struggling with his new life.Sometimes it takes a little bit of hurt and anger to come together.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 8
Kudos: 200





	Now and Always

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I honestly don't remember where the inspiration for this story came from, but it was probably a sad song or something because I do the angst at any given moment.
> 
> Anyway, there is one very brief mention of death in here, but it only last for one sentence.

Obi-Wan hadn’t quite known what he’d expected out of his first week being a Jedi Knight, but this certainly hadn’t been it. In the last twelve years, he’d had a lot of time to imagine life after he went through his trials and hopefully passed and made it to knighthood. He imagined moving into his own set of rooms in the Temple, going through his daily routine that was mostly unchanged, being sent on missions by himself. The thoughts were daunting, to be sure.

But not a single one of them were as daunting as reality turned out to be.

Because Obi-Wan had been a Jedi Knight for exactly a day before he was officially a master to a brand new padawan. A brand new padawan who was very nearly ten years old and had had no training before now. He knew very little of the Force, or how to fight and defend himself.

Anakin was a sweet kid, though. He was polite and kind and smiled at almost everyone once he’d had a second to warm up to them. Well, not quite the masters of the Jedi Council. Though Obi-Wan suspected that was due to them being intimidating and him being nine and that their first encounter was a series of tests that Anakin had passed but had still made him nervous and unsure of himself.

But Obi-Wan had no idea what to do with a padawan! There was a huge difference between being a padawan and training a padawan. They weren’t similar.

Most Knights who had their first padawans had someone they could turn to - former masters and grandmasters they could ask for guidance, brother and sister padawans they could lean on for support, friends and former agemates who might have tips and advice to give.

Obi-Wan had people he could ask, certainly. He could ask anyone in the Temple. But his master was dead. His grandmaster was no longer a member of the Order. His older brother Feemor wasn’t around a lot. Most of Obi-Wan’s friends from childhood had passed their trials and become Knights before him. They hadn’t spoken much in the past few years.

So, when on the sixth day of being a master, Obi-Wan and Anakin found themselves angry and irritated with each other, he had no idea who to turn to. Anakin was in his room, had stormed that way close to an hour ago. Obi-Wan sat on the familiar couch in their common area, the lights off like no one was there.

He knew that he should meditate - should focus on his inner peace, should release his hurt and his anger into the Force. But he could not drag himself to get up. He could not pick himself up or calm himself down. He could not keep the tears from falling down his cheeks. He couldn’t keep his breath steady.

Obi-Wan would give anything to have Qui-Gon with him then.

Sitting quietly, finally, he was able to focus just on his breathing. Finally, he was calming down, if only just a little bit.

In the silence of the apartment, the weight of the world became both less and impossibly more.

Obi-Wan could feel himself falling asleep, still curled in the corner of the couch. His eyes were heavy, still swollen and definitely red.

And odd, muffled sound hitched through the air. It didn’t catch his attention the first time, nor the second. But by the time he heard it again, his eyes were blinking open with interest. A bone-deep exhaustion threatened to keep him all but glued to the couch, but something about that sound just wasn’t right.

It came just one more time, from down the hall.

His eyes flew wide open, mind no longer sleepy as he suddenly knew what it was.

Instinctively, Obi-Wan was reaching into the Force, feeling outwards for the threaded-together edges of a bond. He drew back suddenly when he felt nothing once again. Reality check. It was too soon for them to have a bond yet, especially with the way they’d come together. The reminder sent a shock of pain through Obi-Wan’s heart.

He shook himself. It didn’t matter.

He reached out again, no longer feeling for a bond, but feeling for something similar - for Anakin.

The presence he was met with was saturated in pain and sadness, loneliness and the vague impression of underlying terror.

Obi-Wan was on his feet in an instant. He carried himself down the hallway quickly, stopping in front of the bedroom door that used to be his own. The sounds were louder now, standing outside the room. They punched tiny little holes in his heart.

His knuckles rapped lightly on the door in a knock. Obi-Wan hoped his sudden presence wouldn’t frighten the boy.

When no answer came, he knocked again, just a little bit louder. No answer.

He didn’t want to invade Anakin’s space at all - Force knew he deserved to have his own space - but this was important. His padawan was hurting.

Obi-Wan’s fingers brushed gently over the control panel. The door slid open in a near-silent swish.

The room was dark, but the security lights illuminated the space just enough to make out the ten-year-old’s form on the bed.

Anakin was curled up on himself, hugging his knees and muffling cries into the soft fabric of his loose sleep pants. Blue eyes turned to him, shinier now with tears than Obi-Wan had seen them in the two weeks he’d known the kid.

“Obi-Wa-hann…” Anakin whimpered out on a sob. His tears redoubled their efforts and dragged hiccupping, lurching breaths from his lungs.

Obi-Wan hadn’t honestly thought he could hurt any worse than he already did. He didn’t think he could feel more broken than he already was. But clearly, he’d been wrong. Because in that moment, his heart shattered all over again, watching this lost little kid look to him with big, pleading eyes like he might take away the whole world or save it in one go.

“Oh, Anakin,” he sighed, feeling his own tears welling back up again.

He swept into the room, his arms open in an invitation that he would allow the boy to turn down if he wished. But Anakin uncurled from his ball and shifted onto his knees, arms open in acceptance.

Obi-Wan settled himself onto the bed with Anakin in his arms. He wrapped him up securely like he could shield the kid from anything.

“Shh, shh,” he hushed into newly cut hair. Anakin truly looked like a padawan now, his hair cropped short and the tiny beginnings of a braid behind his right ear.

“You’re alright,” Obi-Wan cooed, not entirely sure what he was saying. He was just making noises and saying phrases that sounded at least moderately soothing. “Talk to me, Ani. It’s alright.”

They sat there together, just like that, for who knows how long. Long enough, at least, for both of their tears to dry up and Obi-Wan’s throat to feel dry and sore.

“What’s wrong, Anakin?” he whispered into the darkness.

The padawan’s voice was small and timid when he finally responded.

“Please don’t send me back… I promise we won’t fight anymore! I’ll do everything you say, no matter what, even if you want to get rid of me-”

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan said, a note of alarm in his tone. “Why on earth would I get rid of you?”

“Because we fought. I made you mad and hid from you… that gets people killed on Tatooine…”

The tears were coming back again. Obi-Wan swallowed them away.

“Anakin,” he admonished, no heat behind the words, “that’s not how this works. We’re not always going to see eye-to-eye. Force knows Master Qui-Gon and I didn’t always agree. But just because we get a little upset sometimes doesn’t mean I’m going to throw you away or send you back.”

“You wouldn’t?” Anakin asked into Obi-Wan’s neck.

“No,” the Jedi Knight promised. “Never. Now, tell me what else is bothering you. Something is. I can sense it.”

“This planet is weird… it’s loud and cold…” Anakin sighed, settling further into Obi-Wan’s arms. “And I’m so far behind. I’ll never catch up!”

Obi-Wan shook his head.

“Anakin, it’s not fair to compare yourself to the other younglings. They have years more experience than you do. You’ve barely started! And what you can do I think is impressive for it being your first week of training.

“It’s okay, padawan mine. This is just new. It will take some adjustments. This is new for me, too. Two weeks ago, I was still a padawan.”

“But you’re already so good!”

“Because I’m twenty-five, little one!” he chuckled, squeezing at Anakin’s form and digging his fingers into the boy’s side. He’d just recently found out the boy was ticklish there, and he was absolutely willing to exploit that to help get him into a better mood. Anakin shrieked with laughter, squirming away slightly.

“And I’ve been training since I was three,” Obi-Wan continued. “That’s twenty-two more standard years than you’ve got.”

They settled again, the feeling of the room much lighter now than when Obi-Wan had first entered.

“We’ll figure this out together, Anakin,” he said quietly. “I promise.”

“I’ll do my best, too,” Anakin responded in kind.

Obi-Wan smiled. “I know you will. And I will be here for every day you exceed your own expectations, for every time we fall a little flat, and every moment in between. Now and always.”

“Now, and always,” Anakin yawned, snuggling closer into his master’s hold on him.

They fell asleep there together, in a bed not made for two bodies. But it was perfect nonetheless. Because when again Obi-Wan woke, even before his young apprentice, the world already seemed just that much brighter. Just a hair lighter on his shoulders.

It would take time to learn to heal fully. It would take time for their own fears and concerns to truly be navigated around, even with meditation and trust in the Force.

But they would do it together.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you liked this little thing. I'd love to know what you thought, so comments and kudos are always appreciated. Thanks!


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